I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
