fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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