Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
