Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We got so high we made milksteak
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
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