im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
