wat bout pragnant strippers??
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize