I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you didnt know i had herpes?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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