Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
