i barfeds in our rink
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
