Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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