don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
