We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
