I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
