ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
