Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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