Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
