butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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