i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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