Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
