oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
