just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
