I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Randomize
