I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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