Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize