"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
