I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Randomize