we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
not ubering you a puppy
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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