You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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