I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
whose ass print is on the piano?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
