Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
