Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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