I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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