Life is so much better after having sex.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
