i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
why do cheetos always look like penises
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Less talking, more tequila
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Panties = found
Randomize
