What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i now understand why vodka
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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