drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
