I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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