I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
