Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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