We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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