I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
