Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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