im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I will be naked everywhere
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
