I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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