we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
