It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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