he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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