I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
