Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
