its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize