I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
