In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
