Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
my shit smells like andre
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
