Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you will always have a special place in my vag
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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