love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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