Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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