I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
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