When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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