he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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