At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize