ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
