doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
