Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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