your room smells of hookers.
And success
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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