i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
