You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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