that's an acceptable place to lick
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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