i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
