i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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