how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
