mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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