Too much gin, very little bucket
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
